Monday, May 24, 2004.

gee,the wonders of Internet...

i typed in 'padi' in the search box at Yahoo! search, with the full intention of looking up Padi the indo band.
a sec later,the results flashed and first on the list was...
guess what?
hehehe. nothing, absolutely nothing, would prepare you for this:

'Official website of.....the Professional Association of Diving Instructors'.
padi, for short.
done laughing, i went for ungu-another indo band. this time, fully prepared for watever possible search results.
thank god, i got the band's official site tis time. haha.

which reminds me, this mention of ungu...
actually, was tryna find some pictures of one of the members.
see, until yesterday...didn't know d band existed. and still, i dunno wat kind of music they play, who's who, who plays wat....
zilch. not that it matters.
see, i was wathing mtv ampuh on tv and suddenly tis guy comes on and starts rattling off in cute-sounding indonesia...
and tis poor teenager could not take her eyes away. he was just so so so achingly, awfully cute, i tell you. and good-looking. the nose, the eyes,the lips....arh...
just had 2 search for his pics..jus had to.
forgive tis shallow outburst of teenager-ism.
am not usually like tis.
but tis guy..watever his name is...is jus too gorgeous.
there, i've said it. the big G-word.
funny thing is, i jus hev 2 think of him n i feel better already.
it's that bad.
why, i have his face etched in my mind.

will try 2 find out more bout ungu, i promise.
oh ya...think they play..some kind of punk or rock...or mebbe metal? cos they all wear black in their photo shoots.

y'know why i'm tis intoxicated?
becos tis ungu guy, whatever his name, is kinda...
a near-perfect e.g of what i want my guy to look like.
ok...that didn't really come out rite, but, ah...!

{ 3:37:00 PM }

was reading my posts...
got a haircut like, what, 3 months ago..back in late-Feb. and now my hair's all short again, cos i juz got it sniPPed at the hairdresser's. ah,well..like it tho. it's nice.
bloody mangkuk...dunno what's wrong with me today. issit the mood schwings brought abt by my menses? i knew t'was that then, cos i was practically screaming at everybody these last 2 days.
but today?
dunno, an. and it's scary.
suddenly i was drowning,
drowning in sadness
and misery and-
in class jus now...t'was as if tis something jus snagged away all the positive feelings frm me.
felt depressed. distressed. miserable.
and all the depressing thoughts about the depressing somebodies came to me.
felt like crying. like sobbing rite in front of bah, nuwai and hammadah.
felt like pulling off my scrunchie and tugging at my hair.
really.
wAS it my less-than-glorious[read:hopelessly disastrous] exam results? or mebbe it's this
bowel-liquifyingly['cuse my choice of vocab.] depressing novel i'm reading.yeah, vikram seth.
was it jus them mood schwings?
mebbe all three.
mebbe...ah, i dunno.
but i sure as hell want it-this..this heaviness inside,
to go away
cos it sucks.

hmmph..
sumtimes i wish i was a happier person.
i mean, i wish i wasn't so prone to sadness, frustration n whatever bad feelings.
jus seem to attract bad vibes, don't I?
but on d other hand,
jus can't pretend to be happy when i'm not.
yeah..yeah...tis girl's got issues.
like, duh. who
doesn't?

ON A HAPPIER NOTE,
i'm looking forward to this June hols'...
will be going off to Mersing on 19th,20th and 21st of d month. some beach resort thing.
hope i have fun.lots of 'em.
hell, i sooooo NeeD a holiday.
but rao, dun w0rry...
will be back in tiMe for the prev concert of NAs' 10th yearanniversary. which, incidentally falls on my b'dae.hehe.
ain't that funny..

well, will go now.
and try 2 cheer up some.

argh...skool 2m.
see? see?
tis is EXACTLY what exams do to p00r old me.cos,
i get so used to mugging for exams,not doin h/w, going off early after each paper-all these for nearly 3 weeks...
that it's a dread to go back 2 normal lessons.
man..the idea of sitting in the classroom n having lessons...
i practically hev 2 drag my feet 2 skool.
[and that is not an exaggeration.]

{ 2:45:00 PM }

lonelily.

myPIC

curly,female,
turning 22.

Mess of curly crazy hair. Likes fresh flowers, strawberries, chocolate, cili padi, reading, reading.. and oh Johnny Depp. Listens to corinne bailey rae john mayer killers snow patrol coldplay damien lisa etc etc.

Monday, May 24, 2004.

lonelily.

tagboard.

links.

past posts.

creds.

music.